A word about words

I Often wonder about words…….their origin…….their meaning.
Today I am looking at the words "reconnect", "revisit" and "relax".

In the first instance, "reconnect", the word, means to come together AGAIN...implying that once , 2 things or people were together in some way and then for some reason they separated only to discover themselves or join forces once again.

The second word, "revisit" is similar in that it implies that a subject or location has had prior presence or relevance and for whatever reason has become relevant once again. We "revisit" topics as well as physical places. But it is the third word that has me baffled. We use it all of the time. But I am not sure we really actually "do it"


I am up at The Oaks Spa in Ojai California. It is a beautiful place. I am here to teach a bit of Beaming but I am also here to "relax" There are about 35 women here along with me. It is a mother, daughter weekend and there is joy in witnessing the interaction of the generations. In some instances there are 3 generations sharing some quality and FUN time away from their busy lives. In any case, these women are here for many reasons.......but the top 3 I could come up with ( aside from losing weight) are "reconnect" "revisit" and "relax".

Reconnect. In today’s society many of us have grown up and moved away from our home towns. As I sat and had lunch and dinner with these women I learned a great deal. So many of them only have a chance to reconnect for set periods of time throughout the year and this weekend here at The Oaks, for many is a “reconnecting" weekend. They sit around and tell stories of times gone by - update one another on what's been going on in their lives and genuinely seem to take great pleasure in the act of reconnecting. There are hugs......kisses...smiles and laughter. It warms my heart to see all of this as I am an only child, both of my parents are gone and I (on this level) will never have the chance to reconnect.....ever again. But for this moment in time, I can live it through what I am witnessing before me - the human condition "live".

Revisit. I also learned that the majority of these women are returning customers, revisiting The Oaks at least once a year. It is like a little home coming to them. They have their favorite rooms.....they know the class schedule...the staff.....their surroundings. There is a sense of joy and peace for them... knowing that they are "revisiting" an old friend - "The Oaks" and that while they are here they will also be "reconnecting" with loved ones and friends alike. Revisiting does the soul good - it conjures up memories in the deepest sense of the word. Not only do we recall but at the same time when we revisit we are creating new memories to be cherished the very next time we revisit.

Relax. Here I am ...back to "relax" and it is this word I am struggling with. I know that when we put "re" in front of a word it simply means acting like or doing something that we have done in the past. But as I look around me.....listen.....and then check in with my own experience I question the meaning of the word "relax". The root of the word is "lax" which means to loosen up - to let go......and the "re" in front of it implies that we have done it in the past. My question is simply this - do any of us really know what it means ... or have we ever really done it. Think in your own life. Think of what YOU do to relax. If it means to loosen up and let go.......have you ever really done it?

We live in a culture that frowns upon this in so many ways.......we look at letting go or loosening up in some cases as being lazy...or weak....... OH COME ON GET SERIOUS WIL YA?? For we must always be in control and adult-like. OH GROW UP - YOU’RE AN ADULT NOW........... As I looked around the classes I taught I saw some women actually trying to hide the fact that they were letting go and "whooping it up." But I continued to encourage them to express themselves......"the joy of movement can help release tension and even though you are working out...the letting go of the tension is a form of relaxing the mind and spirit", I saw amazement in their eyes as they came back from massages and facials -moments they were able to actually "relax and let go." There was a certain glow a shift of energy……they actually looked relaxed!

I think we need to learn the "lax" part of "relax" so that we can actually begin to "relax" more often. I know for myself - the work-a-holic that I am THIS is a lesson I need to study more closely.

I hope to reconnect with some of these women at another place and time - perhaps I have made some new lifetime friends this weekend. I hope to revisit The Oaks as it is a wonderful Spa and I thoroughly enjoyed my stay.......and I hope that my observations this weekend have shed some light on the fact that relaxation in many ways is not as easy as it is said to be.

The take away from this, for me, is that I will spend 30 minutes a day from now on “relaxing” I am going to close off the world – the phone – the computer – all interaction and simply just “BE”. I hope the next time I come to The Oaks I can take the experience of all of those 30 minute session………and actually “Relax” for an entire weekend.